To let go of ego
Updated: Dec 27, 2020
Buddhism practitioners often have a catch phrase, "to let go of ego," but often because they don't know "ego," there is no way to "let go." To cultivate well, you must first let go of your ego. Only by first becoming a person who can let “face-saving” go can one talk about letting go of ego.
I used to be the leader of a Buddhist team. At the beginning, everyone respected me, and even jokingly called me a "leader". Gradually, I was becoming excessive with domineering which made others feel uncomfortable. I often used a management style to treat my subordinates and discussed affairs in a commanding tone. I announced information in blunt and cold ways, without considering others’ abilities, and I didn’t care if it would put pressure on them. Two years later, I was notified that I was isolated by the team. At that time, I was indignant; how they could "isolate" the team leader? Wasn’t the group built by me? Humiliation and anger spontaneously arose, and I felt very shameful.
Therefore, I repented in the Buddhist assembly room. I wanted to correct my previous ignorance and hatred, and treat fellows with kindness. I no longer thought about "I" before them. Then something happened that tested me.
A senior sister and I jointly set up a Buddhist gathering room to lead everyone to practice together. The sister was responsible for some affairs. At first she asked me for advice on everything, but then she liked to be arbitrary. I communicated with her many times, but made her hate me instead.
One day, H.H. Dorje Chang Buddha III 's dharma discourse taught me: “Can your behavior cause you to end the cycle of birth and death?” How can I have a problem with my sisters? Why can I not get along with them? Will Buddhas and Bodhisattvas love my behaviors ?
Then we together listened to some discourses expounded by H.H. Dorje Chang Buddha III, and we found that we had lots of challenges when we are improving ourselves. I found that if I did not attach to the thought of merit, my actions would definitely result in merit. I started to change myself, so I am telling you my story here even if it is an embarrassing and an unpleasant experience for me. I hope people can learn a lesson from my story.