Pray for 600 times a day
Updated: May 28, 2020
My name is Li Jiubo. I am 64 years old. I was found lung cancer in April 2016 and had a partial lobectomy. After I got sick, my physical condition was fairly stable, but from September 2017 to the end of January 2018, the condition began to deteriorate in these five months. I went back and forth in three hospitals, almost died twice. I lost my weight more than 10 kilograms, and had difficulty speaking. Because of the late stage of lung cancer, it caused a large amount of pleural effusion and a large amount of malignant pericardial effusion, which made my breathing difficult and discomfort my heart. I could not lie down on the bed and could not walk, I could only sit even when I was sleeping. I need a wheelchair in such a short distance from the bedroom to the bathroom at home,. Even when I go to toilet later on, I need several people to help me. It is no exaggeration to say that, it was a luxury for me to go to the toilet smoothly at that time. .
I had insomnia initially, and even couldn't fall asleep because of my heart and lungs discomfort. So I counted every minute almost every night. I could not sleep well, therefore my body was weaker and weaker, I could not go up and down the stairs. Even if I moved around at home, I could only walk in a short distance. And then because I had suffered from long-term sickness, I had mental problems. The doctor diagnosed me as anxiety disorder, I often felt restless. When it is serious, I would be crawling around my house, plucking my hair, and wanted to die! I knew it was caused by my previous bad karma, I had no complaint, but the long-term pain was really difficult to stand. I really wanted to improve myself in Buddhism, but I was unable to listen to the dharma discourses, recite the Sutra , recite the Buddha names and read Buddhist books.
I was anxious and very disappointed. I didn’t meet the sisters from Shandong until January this year. When they visited me, they gave me a guide: suggested me to do a full prostration, and deeply repented of my own sins. I said I was too weak to make a full prostration because my heart was weak. If I did so, I would be even sicker. Sister Dong(Miss Dong) told me, it would be the first step to cultivate under Triple Jewel ‘s(Buddha, dharma, sangha) mercy to eliminate evil karma. She said, “do you want to still suffer or to repent of your sins to get close to Buddha? Cancer cells are afraid of heat, your will sweat every week, which helps the body. ”
Her words deeply moved me and gave me courage and strength! I also suddenly realized that I was a serious sinner, so what else could I do at this time? I could only do a full prostration, as long as I live one more day. I prostrated for Buddha and Bodhisattva an extra day to return my merits to all sentient beings that I have hurt.
I sincerely confessed my sins, and wished that others could be happy, lucky, and free of pain. If I were to live another day, I wanted to confess my sinful karma to Buddha and Bodhisattva have nowhere else to turn to anyway! I am ashamed to say that it has been nearly five years since I obtained a full prostration dharma in the United States in 2013, but for so many years, I have not done this or any of the other practices. Though I insisted to do it before, I didn’t pay attention to the full prostration. With the reminders of the sisters, I began to put it into action. On the first day, I did 130 big prayers (full prostrations). I did 200 on the second day, 549 on the third day, 462 on the fourth day, and 600 on the fifth day. Since the ninth day, there have been no less than 600. Unexpectedly, I was so weak, but I could do more than 600 every day. Before I got sick, I could only manage 200 per day!
In this way, I have always insisted on praying at least 600 times a day, and 800 times in most cases. I felt my health gradually improving and my physical strength increasing, so I tried to see if I could do some housework. It’s weird that I could pray, but I still couldn’t do the housework. After my physical and mental condition improved, not only could I pray every day, but I also could listen to the Buddha’s dharma discourses, read the Sutras "解脫大手印", and call on the Buddhas’ names, etc. I also did some self-reflection every day. If I found anything wrong, I would repent and correct it immediately. After all, I was too weak to breathe, and I had poor cardiopulmonary function and frequent body pain when I did full prostrations. I would lay on the ground and couldn't get up, and I still struggled on turning my body to the side.
I had to take a break every 10 times, and I was drenched in sweat after finishing 100 times. My sweat was falling down from my forehead, neck and back, and my clothes were all wet. I could not sleep well, so I woke up at 10pm or sometimes even at 1am. I often went the mandala pray room to do full prostrations at 10pm or even from 1am till the morning because I wanted to do more.
My left rib felt painful near the surgery scars every day. I took painkillers almost every day. Sometimes the painkillers were not enough, and I hadn't exercised for a long time, so when I stretched my muscles while I prayed, I would be in pain. Because of poor lung function, whenever I finished 600 times, I had difficulty breathing, I would start wheezing, and even breathing oxygen would not relieve my difficulty. However surprisingly I rarely felt difficulty breathing when doing full prostrations. Anxiety disorder often makes me feel annoyed. When I am annoyed, I can't listen to dharma discourses, recite Sutra, or do anything. The only thing I can do is to pray.
But often, because of the difficulty in breathing and the pain, I wanted to give up. I especially wanted to give up when I thought there would be so many prostrations, I needed to do the next day. How I conquered this situation was I always told myself there were lots of merits of worship, and I could offer all of these to Buddhas and Bodhisattvas. In addition, I could transfer my merits to all the sentient beings who have hurt me before. For them, I must insist on praying, and I must work hard. With this kind of thought and motivation, I prayed one day, two days, three days ... until now for nearly two months. Although I have stomach aches, pains, and difficulty breathing, I’ve never stopped or reduced times.
So I continued to report my times of worships, schedule of listening to dharma discourses and readings of Sutra in the wechat homework group. Sisters and brothers knew my situation and saw my homework, and everyone could not believe it. So many brothers and sisters were touched and ashamed when they congratulated me, so they also started to work hard. They increased their times of doing homework and worships to 500~1000 times a day. Everyone started to do four additional practices.
After I did full prostrations in these two months, I found that some symptoms were gone. I took only painkillers, but stopped taking mental and cancer medicine. My body started to improve.
The symptoms of anxiety have been gradually alleviated. I also have a lot more energy than before. The symptoms of breathlessness and chest tightness have been gradually reduced. Although the heart was still uncomfortable, the discomfort was gradually disappearing. I had regained my appetite and my face looked better; you could not tell that I was a patient from my appearance. The nurse saw that my health had improved, and became interested in Buddhism. She has done full prostrations with me since then. I found I could encourage my sisters and brothers, and I introduced Buddhism to others. I was so happy. It also made me insist on doing full prostrations and introducing Buddhism to more people. In recent months, I haven’t gone to the hospital to have an examination again, and I don’t know how my lungs are. I don’t expect to recover, but I know that if I live one day more, I will work harder! I am very grateful to Master Buddha-H.H. Dorje Chang Buddha III.
I am really grateful to Buddhas and Bodhisattvas! In this life, I have been fortunate to meet Namo Dorje Chang Buddha III. It is human beings’ fortune to meet true Buddhism. I hope all sentient beings meet true Buddhism, practice hard, be happy and go to the other side of happiness!
Disciple Li Jiubo - March 30, 2018